


Bedside Manner

by Isola_Caramella



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2017-05-02
Packaged: 2018-10-26 18:14:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10792047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Isola_Caramella/pseuds/Isola_Caramella
Summary: HR seminar on proper bedside manner





	Bedside Manner

**Author's Note:**

  * For [justme (silver_spring)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/silver_spring/gifts).



> This is a little thing for my chat peeps huzzah 
> 
> Unbeta'ed and not properly spell checked either 
> 
> I own nothing

Brienne looked out at the group assembled before her and mentally psyched herself up to make it through the seminar. Catelyn had tasked her with bringing up the hospital's patient satisfaction scores by starting with the lowest rated doctors. Dr. Lannister's medical license had just been reinstated after a secondary investigation into the death of Senator Aerys Targaryen showed the senator had poisoned himself with tears of Lys before changing his mind and calling for an ambulance. The damage done to Dr. Lannister's name and credibility was too far flung for his transition back into patient care to go smoothly. Also he was a sardonic asshole, but Brienne kept that thought safely to herself.

Dr. Bronn was just intolerable and Brienne was unsure why he remained on staff. Dr. Clegane was another contemptuous blight on the hospital's good name but he was brilliant in the pediatric burn unit so long as you were under eighteen. The children saw hope at a fulfilling life when he finished with their consults but the parents felt abject terror at the snarling giant of a man who glowered at them in open hostility. It was going to be a long day.

"Good morning gentleman, I hope you are all well. This will be a five part course through the hospital's Human Resources department as we try to keep our attrition rates at an industry level low. It is been widely accepted that it's not what you say, but how you say it and today we'll be using real cases you each have worked on to illustrate how we can use best practices going forward."

"That's a bullshit corporate spiel if I ever heard one. I thought you valued honesty Ms. Tarth."

"Dr. Lannister, always a pleasure. As you are aware, medicine in this century is more than just treating the patient's symptoms, it's also about how you treat the patients and their family as people. There is no lie in that. No one has to come to St. Baelors, they can choose any number of more pocket friendly options but they come here because we provide the best care with the most compassion, we want that to compassion to be extended from everyone the patients interact with, especially you."

"How long do we have to sit here listening to you yammer on girly? I have patients to follow up and actual work to do?"

"Is there free food? I'm hungry."

"Yes, Dr. Bronn there is food along the back table and lunch will be catered," Brienne breathed out, slowly counting backwards in her head to control her irritation. 

By the time lunch was delivered and set up Brienne was ready to pull out what little hair she had. Maybe she could recommend they all not have their contracts renewed and live the rest of her career in blissful felicity.

"Hey wench."

"My name is Brienne."

"B r i e n n e, yes I am well aware. However, wench, I wanted to demonstrate how much I've learned today. I was going to say that skirt makes me want to wrap your never ending legs around my face but that would be rude and not taking the individual into consideration."

"Dr. Lannister, that is sexual harassment and not covered in this seminar but I would be more than happy to sign you up for." She knew her face was red, and her voice was reedy with embarrassment. Catelyn would be disappointed if she cold cocked one of the doctors she was sure.

"Sure sure. See how indignant and prudish you get? That's not the response we want is it my fellow detainees?"

"Aye it's not, though the lass has a fine set indeed."

"That's for fookin' sure."

"No wench, you've taught us so well that I know I should say, wench that blue skirt brings out your eyes. They look like the early morning waters in the Summer Isles, clear and blue."

The self indulgent smile on Dr. Lannister's face would be pinned to her punching bag at the gym tonight, she could feel his nose crunching under her knuckles as she closed her eyes and counted backwards from twenty and then counted forward again. She left them to go eat her lunch quietly in a residents lounge until the afternoon portion of the presentation started. There was no way she would put up with them for four more of these sessions. Breaking a promise to Catelyn was the last thing she wanted to do but even she had finite patience.

"Now Dr. Clegane you told a mother to pin her belief in the Seven to her bleeding heart and to stay out of your way. Can you come up with another option to aid you in removing a hovering parent as you work?"

"Guessing the answer isn't get the fuck out of my way?"

Brienne inhaled sharply before training her eyes on Dr. Clegane, "No sir, it is not."

"Fine, 'you crying idiot who left a cup of hot coffee on the table while you yapped on the phone, can you please sit in that chair while I alleviate your child's suffering?', how's that?"

"It's a...step in the right direction, leave off the first part and build from there. Now Dr. Bronn you had a patient in with uncontrolled diabetes who you advised to stop being a fat fuck. Can you articulate that in a more patient positive manner?"

"Not really Blondie, he was a fat fuck who wouldn't exercise or lay off the Hot Pie's family sized meals."

"Dr. Bronn please."

"Alright, you tubby bastard, you're going to lose your fingers and toes unless you start exercising and eating proper meals, not this frozen food ready meals shit with enough sodium to fuck a horse. Please stop eating your weight in cake and take your insulin as I directed last time you were here in a near coma."

"That is one way, or you could try the solution problem solution sandwich."

"I'll try it just for you Blondie."

"Please report back in the next seminar."

"Nothing for me wench?"

"Dr. Lannister, my name is Brienne as we have discussed. Your patient was told it may behoove him to walk in front of a bus to brighten up his day."

"I was just trying to lighten the mood wench, the kid was too damn broody for someone so young. I didn't know he was Cat's nephew."

"That sort of humor is inappropriate and harmful."

"Fine, next time I'll tell him to bury his face somewhere nice."

"You will not!"

The punching bag and two bottles of wine, that's what the seminar had reduced her to by the time she could officially draw the day to a close and jump on the train home. Skipping the punching bag and going straight for the wine looking better and better as she counted down to five. She'd dismissed the irritating trio and cleaned up the conference room as quickly as possible, tomorrow she could go back to doing paperwork in her office with no assholes to wrangle into compliance.

"Miss Tarth?"

"Did you need something Dr. Lannister?"

"Yes wench, you."


End file.
